2011 Year in Review Ruminations to share with 'song of the day'....
-Wow, your kindle screen is viewable in direct sunlight? Well guess what, so is my book.
-With a solid center surrounded by molten layers and a thin crust, the Earth sounds delicious.
-Egypt needs a new president. I need a summer job. This could be perfect.
-I asked my coworker what she wanted for her birthday and she replied, "to not have any more birthdays!" I'm pretty sure she just asked me to murder her.
-What exactly is the sense in requesting my emergency contact's e-mail address? "Dear Mrs. Smith, your daughter is in cardiac arrest. Best regards, Bally Total Fitness."
-All I ask is that, when I die, a 5 year old writes my obituary..."Tim was really tall. He could touch the ceiling. He was really good at checkers and basketball. I think he played in the NBA. He was also smart and had a car."
-Do I really have to say that I know how to use Microsoft Word on my résumé? I'd rather just put "graduated middle school" and let employers assume that I'm not technologically useless.
-I spend a lot of time wondering what normal people do in my situations.
-Poems that don't rhyme are just really weird sentences that make people feel awkward.
-I think everyone has that moment of sheer terror when their line of thinking goes from "where did I park my car?" to "did someone steal my f-ing car?"
-The crossword clue was "Fearsome dinosaur." everyf*ckingdinosaur did not fit.
-My friend's Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It's about as secure as my jeans at 3AM on a Saturday.
-When was the last time you touched the number 8 on your microwave?
1 comment:
2011 Year in Review Ruminations to share with 'song of the day'....
-Wow, your kindle screen is viewable in direct sunlight? Well guess what, so is my book.
-With a solid center surrounded by molten layers and a thin crust, the Earth sounds delicious.
-Egypt needs a new president. I need a summer job. This could be perfect.
-I asked my coworker what she wanted for her birthday and she replied, "to not have any more birthdays!" I'm pretty sure she just asked me to murder her.
-What exactly is the sense in requesting my emergency contact's e-mail address? "Dear Mrs. Smith, your daughter is in cardiac arrest. Best regards, Bally Total Fitness."
-All I ask is that, when I die, a 5 year old writes my obituary..."Tim was really tall. He could touch the ceiling. He was really good at checkers and basketball. I think he played in the NBA. He was also smart and had a car."
-Do I really have to say that I know how to use Microsoft Word on my résumé? I'd rather just put "graduated middle school" and let employers assume that I'm not technologically useless.
-I spend a lot of time wondering what normal people do in my situations.
-Poems that don't rhyme are just really weird sentences that make people feel awkward.
-I think everyone has that moment of sheer terror when their line of thinking goes from "where did I park my car?" to "did someone steal my f-ing car?"
-The crossword clue was "Fearsome dinosaur." everyf*ckingdinosaur did not fit.
-My friend's Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It's about as secure as my jeans at 3AM on a Saturday.
-When was the last time you touched the number 8 on your microwave?
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